Being skinny has it’s disadvantages …

I went in for my hardware installation (medi-port) yesterday.  This is the device that gets inserted in the upper chest to deliver medication through a large central vein, to the heart, for distribution to the rest of the body.  I thought this was going to be a simple 1-hour surgery and 1-2 hour recovery.  Surgery was at 2pm, I should be home by 6pm.  Not so simple.

The plan was to put this on the left side (because I’m right handed), between the collar bone and first rib.  After digging around on the left side, it was determined there was not enough room for the device.  I’m too skinny!  So, it was put onto my right side (I’m not sure why there was more area on my right side; perhaps because of my scoliosis, i’m lopsided).

Anyways, I woke up at around 6:30pm in excruciating pain … on my left side.  I didn’t know what time it was, nor did I care.  The nurse said something about getting up, eating, and sleeping.  I really don’t remember what she said; I just knew that Kathleen was with me which was comforting.

At 8:00pm, the nurse came back in, and was very aggressive about waking me up.  She had me go to the bathroom, suggested I eat something, and insisted I get dressed.  I was still groggy, and when getting dressed, I almost passed out.  I jumped back into the bed.  The nurse was not pleased; she kept hinting that I’d be more comfortable sleeping at home.  I finally told her I needed a 10 minute power nap.  What’s the scurry-hurry??  Last I remember, my hospital bills are being paid!  I went back into a deep sleep.  At 8:50pm, she came back to tell us that we had to go.  Apparently the Recovery Ward at the hospital closes at 9pm!  Who knew???

I’m much better now, although my early exercise enthusiasm from last weekend is short lived.  I’m suppose to lay off the physical activity for the next 2-3 weeks until the swelling and pain in my upper body subsides.  My sister says I have “Patrick McDonald Syndrome”.  This means my whole upper body moves as one unit (although my neck can move around on it’s own).

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Archive Comments

druchoy: Wow... As if you weren't already IRONMAN Kona, you are now a real-life Marvel Comics Iron Man. Ironman x 2. That's like bad-ass status right there. :)

dshen: hmmm that would be cool if it lit up like Ironman's arc reactor

patrick: Yes I have PMS (patrick mcdonald syndrome) but I can do the robot better than you!

Laura Oliver: Ye-ow-mi. I vote for the margarita plan too. Hey - is it the pretty purple color shown in the photo? You'll have to coordinate your attire around that ...

Glenn: Mild 'Patrick McDonald Syndrome' (i.e. neck stiffness) is OK, but severe 'Patrick McDonald Syndrome' (symptoms are much like 'Cranky Old Man-itis') is very serious. Take care of it before it becomes accute!

meowmi pen: maybe your family shouldn't call you chubby anymore!

Judy: Josh called his medi-port his personal Reebok pump! :)

jtanoota: Sounds like the nurse wanted to get home to watch the final episode of The Glee Project! Sounds like a rough day yesterday, but glad to hear you are back home & resting at Kathleen's recovery ward.

Hovo: Meowmi, ouch! You were very powerful with the nurse. But if you were in a hospital, couldn't you just go to another bed somewhere? Anyway, glad the medi-port is in OK, and take it easy at Head Meowmi's house, except I vote for Steve's idea of pouring a margarita down the tube, haha! Gonna watch you on Wipeout on Thurs. Talk soon, hovo

Steve Murphy: Ouch Liner...but nice work on the power nap...as well as the Liner/Nurse power struggle ;) ( I score it a tie) Keep posting...and since you can't exercise...can we kidnap you and watch Wipeout on the big screen and pour margaritas down your medi-port tube...you know ...the one with the ChronoFlex Polyurethane 8 ft catheter that is resistant to Taxol and Taxotere drugs? We promise not to mess up it's unique triangular port shape ;)...well...we will at least try not to mess it up :)

Jody: I love this idea, the margarita port.