I’m Grateful For…

The chemo cycles are becoming more challenging.   As more cell-killing drugs are put into my body, my defenses are weakened and the side effects become more prominent.  This time around, I spent a whole week at my sister’s recuperating (vs. just 3-4 days).  I’m home now, and working on getting my strength back.

So, what were some of the side effects?  Here are the ones I’m experiencing (or experienced) -

Fatigue –  I usually just sleep through the fatigue, so this doesn’t bother me too much; after all, who doesn’t like to sleep?  But, sleeping through the beautiful Indian-summer weather here in California feels like I’m missing out on something!

Nausea – I’m not 100% sure what this is.   Yes, sometimes I feel queasy, but maybe it’s because I’m hungry.  Or maybe it’s from the surgery where a lot of stuff was taken out and I’m still adjusting to the emptiness.  My definition of nausea is that something just doesn’t feel right.

Sensitivity to cold – this is sensitivity to drinking and eating cold foods as well as touching cold objects.  If I drink cold liquids, my throat constricts when I swallow.  Or, if I touch cold objects for a long time, the point of contact starts to sting.  My solution is to drink hot tea and stay away from the cold objects; this means I need to be very decisive when opening the refrigerator or freezer (and use gloves or something to protect my hands).

Tingling in the hands – This has been most prominent after the Oxaliplatin/Avastin treatment (the IV drugs, on day1).  My doctor gave me some meds to address this and it’s been helpful.

Darkening of the hands – I learned that the skin cells are one of the first normal cells affected by the chemo; thus, my hands have darkened because new cells are not being made.  The picture at the end of this post shows 3 hands –Mine, Demetra’s and Anna’s.  Can you pick out my hand?

Insomnia - I constantly wake up in the middle of the night!  My doctor was going to prescribe Ambien, but I don’t want more drugs!  Then he asked me if I’m going to bed at a consistent hour each night, staying away from caffeine in the evening, and actually going to bed (ie. not playing on my phone or computer).  Not!  I need to work on this!

Hot flashes – at least 4-5x/day, and sometimes at night.  This was almost expected, regardless of the chemo, since I AM IN MENOPAUSE!  It has gotten to the point where I was considering an estrogen patch, but my doctor does not want me to do this.  HRT may cause breast cancer, so I need to take a different route.  Additionally, my doctor believes that the chemo is causing the hot flashes, not menopause (the rationale is that the chemo drugs are have altered the mechanisms that normally suppress the hot flashes).  I’m going to try acupuncture to address this, as well as some of the other side effects.

Constipation – being unable to output is stressful; it reminds me of my struggles after the summer surgery.  This happens during the first week of the chemo cycle, improves during week2, and is back to normal during week3.

Now, you’re probably thinking that I’m grateful that I haven’t lost my hair.  And I am.  Fortunately hair loss is not one of the side effects of this chemo treatment.  In addition to this, what I’m really grateful for is my working colon.  I think about this everytime I have productive output!  Consider what I’ve gone through - I’ve had a section of my colon removed, then reattached, and it’s 100% functional!  Medical science is amazing!  If you see me smiling as I leave the bathroom (and it’s during week2 or week3 of a cycle), this is probably what I’m thinking about!

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Archive Comments

Andres: Hi Caroline,I am glad your recovery is moving forward in a positive way - and even more encouraging, your perspective and attitude. Wishing you the best during this period and always in our prayers.

Meredith Hawkins: You continue to amaze me!!!! Remind me to tell you about my friend who has almost no colon left and was told to put his life in order.....more than 20 years ago. He too is grateful when things move and even more grateful as he prepares for his 3rd Ironman in Tahoe next year! Sending you positive vibes! Meredith

Ahne: Surely you don't mean HRT as in HR Transformation do you?! We're going to be in a world of hurt around here if you do! ;)

Viv: Hi Liner! Thinking about you a lot and sorry that your side effects are in full force, but you sure are inspiring and amazing! Make sure you don't do any triathlons while you're still doing this treatment ;) We need a table hockey rematch and our vball trips down to Santa Cruz once you recover!

Joanne H: Glad you're hanging in there, Liner. Sure makes us think about the little things we should be grateful for and not take for granted. Take care, and please know that all your friends are thinking about you! Joanne

Marissa: Liner. I'm grateful for you. Your perseverance, your strength and your sense of humor are nothing short of amazing. I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing such rotten side effects. Remember, this too shall pass! In the meantime, know you are in our prayers and thoughts. God Bless, M

Meowmi Judy: Hey Liner - First off, you are an amazing person! Second, I have now begun the next lovely stage of womanhood myself and the hot flashes, especially interrupting my sleep were driving me crazy. Ask your doc if you can try Estroven nightime. It's over the counter and so far works great for me. No chemicals. Lastly, I am all moved in to my temp place so let me know when we can get together.Estroven Nightime contains:Melatonin, clinically proven to help you fall asleep easier*Soy isoflavones, clinically proven to help reduce hot flashes and night sweats*Estroven Herbal Sleep & Relaxation Blend with chamomile, passion flower and valerian and hops